I was challenged not that long ago when I was blatantly asked "Do you reckon you suffer from low self-esteem bro?", and I answered very easily (far to casually), "Yes".
It was a give in for me. I assumed this feeling of unworthiness was my lot in life. This was the story I've told myself from a young age, and this story continued well into adulthood. I believed my turbulent and very colourful childhood, early military experience, and very poor decision making allowed me to secure this right.
Is it a get out of jail free card? Does having low self-worth effect situations, conversations, relationships and decision making? I firmly believe it does!
So besides countless hours of therapy, self-help books, podcasts, YouTube clips, Instagram posts and memes reminding us all we have a rainbow of colours shining out our arses and we look amazing on a unicorn's back... The penny had still failed to drop.
Contrary to what Facebook shows you of our amazing lives (or at least the parts we decide to plaster on our walls), majority of us don't feel to crash hot about ourselves. And I am one of you also.
So how does one flick the needle the other way?
How do we actually feel confident in the way we look, the way we hold our selves, the relationships we keep, how do we love ourselves enough to put ourselves before our partners, our business and before our children (WOW, how could we even consider being so selfish? Did Jamie just write that? He is off his head... Have the wheels actually have fallen off?)... Me before my partner, my business, MY children?
You know what, it’s not 'SELFISH', its 'SELF-FULL'. It’s about fulfilment.
Consider this:
By filling your cup first, you allow others to drink from your amazing bone china. Once your cup is full it spills over, those in your orbit may drink and get some of your amazing sparkle. As Shakespeare was famous for saying “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting"
Next question, is self-love enough of a catalyst for change? Is it enough to shove the esteem needle in the other direction? Probably not. There is major component and a foundation for CHANGE, and it sits so close to home, so close to your heart, to your very being, so close under your nose most of us don't even know it’s there.
To enhance and increase one’s self-esteem and self-worth, one must do the HARD WORK!
Deal with the tough decision, have the tough conversations, sift through the awkward situations. Then one becomes empowered and has an increase in self-pride and worth, Why? Because you did the work. The work that was required and needed to be done.
Let me tell you a quick story...
Meet Mick.
Mick is 110kg and his doctor has informed him he must lose 30kg or he won't be around much longer to enjoy his children, his wealthy lifestyle and have even a remote quality of life. Mick has money, so what does Mick do? He pays a surgeon to hack some bits of him off, suck some wobbly bits down the sink, and surgically transform his body.
And so with money spent and surgery performed Mick is now down to a healthy 80kg after a month of recovery, light activities and lifestyle changes. How great is this? After 6 weeks, Mick is running around with the kids, doesn't sweat when he's not in air-con, now fits his Abercrombie and Finch jeans he wore when him and Shazza got engaged 6 years ago. WINNING! Off they go living happily ever after with an abundance of self-esteem and self-worth and pinging on life.
The final question: Do you think Mick is empowered, proud, and have an honest increase in self-esteem and self-worth after his 2-month transformation? The answer? Not likely! Why? Because Mick didn't do the hard work. There was no journey. There was no time in the trenches. Good old Mick didn't earn his scabs. There is no growth, change or sustainability with taking the easy road.
As the famous saying reads "A short-cut takes you to a place not worth going"
Let’s flip this little story right on its head. Rewind the tape...
Mick goes to the doctor. Doctor tells him "Mick! You gotta lose 30kgs"... We know the story. But here is the decision that changes Mick's destiny.
He gets a trainer for support, accountability and to eliminate some of the trial and error. Mick still must do the work, but this Mick is switched on, he knows this.
He educates himself with nutrition, he establishes a solid support network, and Shazza (his missus) saddles up and accompanies him on his journey. His best mate Pete trains with him as well, and how the tables have changed. The same journey takes Mick 18 months, BUT Mick has done the HARD WORK.
He looks back often and with a smile a mile wide as he reminisces of the journey he has taken. Mick looks back on this experience fondly and with immense pride. Shares his before and after pics with friends, family and any damn person who sits long enough to see the difference between the start and the end of his journey.
The moral of this blog is the call to action for YOU!!! Ye of low self-esteem and low self-worth, consider being just like Mick and just like me. Do the hard work, have the tough conversations, and deal with the difficult situations. Make yourself proud, love yourself, learn to put yourself first and watch how the universe rewards you. A cup pouring over for others, along with true abundance of positive emotion and esteem in your personal bank account. Go give yourself a hug and massive high 5.
Jamie
Jamie Milne Training
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jamiemilnetraining/
Instagram: @JamieMilneTraining
Website: www.jamiemilnetraining.com
Email: jamiemilnetrainng@gmail.com
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